Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Getting over it

8/365 - Cold nights
Originally uploaded by Nicole.Kelly
I am working on getting over my need to be perfect (not that I am ever am). I've spent most of my life being humiluated by any error and/or flaw. Oddly, it's being an editor that is forcing me to accept my own imperfect nature. Not, as most would expect, because I fix other people's errors for a living, but because I send out errors even with my best efforts. All editors, even the best, make mistakes. Our mistakes are very public. In fact, one of my fellow editors once told me that the only time an editor gets noticed, is when they've made a mistake. If the writing is perfect at press time, the writer gets all the kudos for great writing.

Losing my agent took more of a toll than I was expecting. I think I was holding onto that success as a way justifiying a hobby that sucks up 10-20 hours a week. Today, I've decided that it was all for the best. I wasn't actually happy with said situation. I knew it wasn't the best thing for me or my book. And some where in my neurotic head, I knew I needed to not be there. This book is the story I've always wanted to tell. I have another book that I am almost done with that I love, but I am more seperated from. I think it makes a better "first book" too. Continuum (the story I love) deserves another editing pass and a shot being told in its fullness, which is about three books. Publishing climate as it is right now, I would be very sad to see Continuum only get one-third told.


writtenwyrdd said...

I wish you a happy new year! Hope the neurotic need to be perfect fades. I mostly got over my own angst over flaws, and life is much improved because of it!

Best wishes for finding a new agent. But don't give up on the novel. If one agent wanted it, some other agent will see the workmanship there!

Jarmara Falconer said...

I hope the year has got better for you.

Anonymous said...

Nicole, you're brilliant and talented. Even when you misspell "humiliated." It's The Editor's Curse.

Anonymous said...

Also, why the hell doesn't this resolve to my TypePad name?

Anonymous said...

Fixed it.

Anonymous said...

Shit.Sorry, Nicole. It's me, Melinda. Just ignore me.